It's a Little Bit Funny.....

So my life is funny, no really it is. I know it seems as though it't not at times but it really is. Just when I think that my life is going in one direction it turns out that the way I was going was totally wrong and that it's time for a detour. Where I used to get angry with the detours before, I am learning that the comedy in my life comes from those detours. It's interesting how you can look back on things and realize the humor in them after they are all over. Well I have realized that I need to start finding the humor in them now. Lately I have been attempting to live my life in a certain manner that I thought would benefit me most. But in speaking to a friend I realized that that way is not the best way to be....detour....so I am trying it out the way this friend suggested and in it I am not only finding humor but myself. Funny how life turns out that way isn't it? The way that I have lived my life in the past hasn't always been the best. I would hope for the best but expect the worst, always "waiting for the other shoe to drop", but another friend told me that that was a crappy attitude to have and to just jump into life and live it with no worries. He told me that someone once to told him that basically if you live your life afraid of getting hurt you'll never really do anything thus, never really living your life. It was advice I decided to heed.....one more detour. In the past week I have had trials and such, but I always seem to end them with a smile. Perhaps it's some of the "new" people in my life. By "new" I mean that I was acquainted with them in my past but I am much closer to them now. It's a good thing, I think, that I am more than just acquaited with them now, because who I was in the past would not have been good for them to really know. I can call them friends now and I like that. So here I am, starting over, new outlook, new attitude, new everything and I like this detour. It seems to be taking me to where I need to be. To who I need to be and to who I need to be around. I will carry those from that past that mean something and matter, because the comedy in these detours they can appreciate. But the Telly that would always be waiting for the bad to happen....yeah she has got to go. The Telly that I am becoming now, I like her and apparently others like her too. I guess you can say that getting the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me. It has opened up my eyes to who I was, who I was becoming and to who I want to be. I am not hurt by it anymore, I can't change it....I can only change my reactions to what is happening now. And honestly I am happy now. I can only hope that he finds happiness too one day. I am sure he will, but I know I won't be around to see it. I used to want to be around to see it, I used to think that I deserved that much after all the years I put in, but not anymore. I think it's time to make the break from even trying to be friends right now. The only thing that we both deserve is our respective happiness....we owe each other nothing besides well wishes. So I am saying good-bye to him and all that we ever were. He will just be another memory that I can smile about one day. And the funny part is I'm not even sad about it....in fact I want to thank him for this detour....this detour is exactly where I needed to be at the exact right time. Where this road is taking me, I know not, but I don't really care to know what lies ahead. It's actually quite fun not trying to figure out what's around every corner. It makes life far more exciting and far more interesting. This Telly is taking things slowly with everything, realizing that everything in her life happens for a reason and happens just when it's supposed to happen. I can't really put into words the elation I feel coming to this realization. And I have a few special people to thank for that (one in particular). Will I get hurt on this road? Possibly. Will I recover from that hurt? Most definitely. I am a survivor. Should I be scared about everything that is happening? No. Because it's happening for reasons I may not even understand yet and I am ok with that. To end this, I have to say that I am not only happy, but I am content and comfortable with myself for the first time in my life. I know that I am work in progress and that I have many more detours ahead of me and I will take them head on with a smile on my face and try to find the humor in it all. And one day, who knows how soon, maybe I will even find someone who wants to take all those detours with me....It is a little bit funny....this feeling inside....to finally be able to find yourself and be happy.